I need to figure out how to prioritize my life.
If you live a well-organized existence and feel as though you’re doing everything you’ve ever wanted to do, I applaud you–please tell me how you do it.
As for the rest of us, trying to choose between working on the novel that university has pushed under the bed, cleaning under your literal bed, or that tricky bit of revision, ultimately results in deciding just to eat breakfast. This lifestyle is not working for me, so let’s re-evaluate.
I woke up this morning with two thoughts:
- Two Kinds of Darkness needs me.
- I miss posting on this blog.
There are so many more things I love which I’ve neglected since last summer. I identify as a writer–a reader–an I’m-just-going-to-sit-here-and-draw-today-person. These days I feel like I don’t read and all I draw is the occasional graph. My writing has suffered neglect, but hasn’t vanished completely. Although, seven months with only a handful of word sprints and 50,000 words of utter nonsense which definitely DO NOT resemble a novel of any sort just makes me feel bad. I am not behaving like the person I identify as.
Why? University doesn’t take all my time–I’ve stopped doing so much and replaced it with very little. This isn’t an issue of deleting activities to make room for new/old ones (although reading the comments on buzzfeed articles can definitely be a hobby I never do again).
Winter sucked all of my motivation and creativity and replaced it with stress. Living on my own, doing uni exams for the first time, trying to make meaningful friendships–I think I fell into a rut and forgot to climb back out.
But this Easter I got out my bullet journal and started doing day-to-day lists of things to do again. And I woke up this morning and wanted to do what I used to love. Maybe it’s the sunshine. Maybe it’s finally feeling happy and in-control again.
Maybe it’s just time to write.